The Early Years

Part Four: Secrets Revealed

By Lucy Henson, teacherchez@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

Monica and Kip’s date two days ago had gone well. Very well, Phoebe thought to herself as she tidied up the kitchen. Monica insisted on Phoebe helping out with the housework if she had nothing else to do. In the happy mood she was in now, Phoebe doubted that Monica would do anything to her if she didn’t. She and Kip were delightfully, sickeningly happy. Phoebe, Chandler and Ross had been neglected for the new love. And they’d only been dating for a few days!

“Hey, Pheebs!” Chandler greeted her. “Guess what?”

Phoebe looked up. “Oh, I am excellent at this game!” she exulted. “Ooh, ooh, your mom’s actually a llama in disguise?”

“Yes,” Chandler replied, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“Oh my God! I got it? Seriously?” Phoebe sometimes seemed so young. Maybe it was because she had missed out so much in her earlier life.

“No, you never get it right,” Chandler told her. “C’mon, how could the woman who gave birth to me be a llama? I’m human, aren’t I?”

“Some might say different,” Monica breezed in. She kissed Chandler on the cheek and hugged Phoebe. “I just had the best news!”

“Hey, I was here first!” Chandler protested. “I got a temp job!”

“Hey, that’s great!” Monica replied. “As what?”

“As a data processor, you know what that is, right?”

There was a silence.

“Ok, all I have to do is type in a load of numbers. Easy!” he explained. “I got As in maths when I was in high school and college. I could tell time when I was three.”

Phoebe shook her head. “You couldn’t have been three. I was six. What about you, Monica?”

Monica paused, trying to hide the blushes that had suddenly appeared when the idea of “time” came up. “Uh, y-you know what? I had news, too. I got a job too!” Phoebe and Chandler gave little cheers. “And people actually know what a chef is. And it’s, like, this huge step up from being a waitress, isn’t it?”

“Oh my God, you’re gonna be a chef?” Chandler asked. She nodded, smiling. “Hey, isn’t that what I said ages ago?”

“Huh?” Monica knew what he was talking about, but didn’t want to seem too much like a love-struck teenager. Once, the first time she had met Chandler, he had suggested that she became a chef. She had had an amazing crush on him, and had agreed. The only reason she had become a chef was because of him – oh sure, she’d always enjoyed cookery, but it was just a hobby. Thanks to Chandler, it was about to become her job.

“Huh?” she repeated. “I’ve always wanted to be a chef.” Teeny white lie, Monica! The crush on Chandler was still there. You just don’t want him to know, part of her chided herself. Another part of her insisted that she would have become a chef anyway.

Phoebe looked thoughtful. “Maybe I should get a job. I mean, you’ve both got jobs, and Ross has one, and Carol has one, and – does Kip have one?”

“He works at the museum with Ross,” Monica told her. “Hey – maybe you should be a teacher like Carol!”

“But I didn’t even go to high school,” Phoebe said.

“Oh, yeah…” Monica began.

“Oh guess what?” Phoebe exclaimed. “I almost forgot with you and your big news. Yu-huh, I went to see my grandmother today!”

“Oh, that’s great, Pheebs!” Chandler congratulated her. “What’s she like?”

“So nice. And not a bit like I remember her,” Phoebe explained. “But we talked for, like, hours about my mom, and yeah, we really clicked. She’s asked me to go stay with her for a few days. I’m going tomorrow!”

“Aw… that’s really nice for you!” Monica said, smiling.

There was a knock on the door, and Chandler got up to answer it. “Hey, Ross, Carol. What ya doing here?”

“Can’t a guy come by and see his little sister?” Ross asked.

“Yeah, and we have big news,” Carol put in.

“Ooh, ooh, is it how your mom is…?” Phoebe began.

“Really a llama?” Chandler finished. Ross, Carol and Monica all looked shocked, but ignored him.

“No, it’s, well, I think you should tell it, honey,” Ross told his wife.

“Okay, um, here goes.” Carol took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, oh, I’m gonna be an aunt!” Monica cried.

“Or an uncle,” Phoebe supplemented. “This is so great, you guys!”

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re going to have a baby,” Chandler said, sounding awe-struck. “I still am one.” They all laughed.

“So we’re going to visit George and Adelaide in L.A. tomorrow – we need to tell them the big news,” Ross said. “We’ll be gone for about a week.”

“That’s so weird,” Chandler said. “I mean, Pheebs is going to her grandma’s, you guys are going away, and so’s Kip.”

“What?” Monica gasped.

“He only told me this morning,” Chandler told her.

“Yeah, he’s going on a dig in, uh, Yemen, I think,” Ross explained.

“And he never told me?” Monica said, feeling near tears.

“Mon, don’t cry,” Chandler said, hugging her. “Ross and Carol are having a baby – you shouldn’t be sad!” Monica nodded, and hugged her brother and his wife. They ended up having a heated debate on baby names – Ross liked Emily or Kenneth, but Carol was insistent on Minerva (or Minnie for short) after her grandmother.

* * *

“Lonely yet?” Chandler asked, creeping into Monica’s apartment at six-thirty the next day. She was sitting on the sofa, and quickly hid a bottle of whiskey from him.

“Kinda,” Monica sighed. “Wanna come have a chat – maybe stay the night?” she added shyly. She didn’t mean it “that” way, but it still sounded odd.

Chandler looked at her carefully, checking what kind of “staying” they were talking about. After gathering which one, he nodded. “Yeah, sure. Just let me go get some stuff.”

Five minutes later, he was back, carrying a toothbrush, some clothes and a sleeping bag. “I’m back,” he greeted her, settling down next to her on the sofa.

“Wow… I hadn’t noticed,” she quipped. “God, isn’t this stupid? I’m twenty-two, and I can’t bear to stay by myself for one night.”

“No, it’s not,” Chandler assured her. “I’m twenty-three, and I’m not crazy about it. Y’know, I was gonna ask you the very same thing about staying the night.”

“Thanks,” she murmured, snuggling up to him. “You’re a really good friend, you know that?”

“Thanks, I try,” he replied, forgetting to be sarcastic as he kissed the top of her head. “So, whaddya want to do?”

“Stay here forever,” Monica whispered. “I like sitting like this – it’s so cosy.”

“I know…” Chandler paused, holding Monica tighter. He looked out of the window. “Hey – how come there’s women’s underwear out there?” He pointed to a telephone pole, where there was indeed a bra and pair of women’s knickers.

Monica blushed. “Um… they’re mine.”

“What?” Chandler asked.

“Well, uh, remember I once told you I had sex on a pool table?” He nodded. “Well, you said it seemed unlike me, so I decided to do something else, so it wasn’t so unlike me, if you get what I mean. So – remember Fun Bobby?” He nodded, smiling. “Yeah, well, when we were dating, I suddenly said that the balcony looked nice, and we went out there, and, uh, one thing led to another, and, um, we ended up having sex on the balcony. And he threw my underwear out there. If you look really far, there’s also a sock and, um, Mr Heckles has my black jeans.”

“Wow.” Chandler laughed slightly, and Monica’s blushes lessened.

“You don’t seem that shocked.”

“Well, um, I don’t know. I kinda guessed you were unpredictable.”

“So,” Monica began. “I told you my biggest secret – c’mon, what’s your biggest secret?”

“Uh, y’know, I’m tired, I think…”

“Nu-uh. Tell!” she commanded.

“Uh, alright, I have, uh, I have a-a-a third nipple,” he stammered, looking away from her, giving her a chance to drink some more whiskey.

“What – like an extra one?” Monica asked.

“Yeah.”

“Ooh, let me see!” Monica asked, eagerly.

“What? No!”

“Oh, c’mon, what are you afraid of?”

“You laughing at me?” It was more of a question than a statement.

“Oh, I won’t, don’t worry, sweetie. Now take off your shirt!” she insisted.

“Well, no one’s ever said that in such an insistent tone before,” Chandler joked, still not doing anything.

“Oh, for crying out loud! Just show me it, and then it’ll all be over, okay?”

“But it won’t. You’ll tell Phoebe, and Ross and Carol – and Kip!” Chandler was panicking. “You can’t tell Kip! He already thinks I’m gay.”

“Are you?” Monica laughed.

“Hey – you know I’m not gay.”

“Okay, prove it,” Monica said, giggling harder.

“Have you been drinking?”

“Just a bit – you want some?” she asked, producing the half-empty whiskey bottle from the side of her chair. He nodded, and glugged some down.

“Ah… nice!” He took another gulp, and then said, “Right, you want me to prove it? Okay – Here goes!”

He leaned in and kissed her.

Okay, okay, maybe none of those things ever really happened, but all will be revealed. Chandler and Monica never had sex, but they may have kissed. And they certainly flirted. So please review!